Girl, Gal, Woman, Mama, Madame, Mademoiselle, Mrs, Miss, Ms, Lady, Bitch, Slut, Whore, and of course C*nt. All these words loaded or not, usually reserved for women, can refer to me.
And I only have a problem with one of them….

I can’t say I’m a card carrying feminist but I’ve read more feminist texts than most.
I’ve been known to quote Emma Goldman, and while not solely a feminist Emma was one bad ass mama jamma who might still be found on the reading lists of Gloria Steinem’s pals today.
I’ve read Simone de Beauvoir’s Second Sex, Andrea Dworkin’s pissed off rantings, Merlin Stone’s get back to the Goddess goodies, and of course the ever voluminous Backlash and other works of Susan Faludi.
Having named only a few, I think I have a pretty good understanding of feminism, but I’m still reluctant to wear any name tags, especially the one people want to call me the most, and that is GIRL.

Listening to a podcast of Slate’s DoubleX Gabfest  I was made aware of a new group of television shows starring women in their twenties this season, no eyebrows up there.
And seeing is I don’t suck on the glass teat (see Harlan Ellison) all that much, how would I know anyway?
Of the many things they so wonderfully pointed out one was the irony of a 34 year old Zooey Deschanel starring in a show called ‘The New Girl“.
Gone are the days of Mary Tyler Moore and Murphy Brown they noted wryly.
And me ever the optimist when I found out that they were remaking Charlie’s Angels  I was hoping it was with the original cast (RIP Farrah). I mean the Golden Girls is a fucking cult darling and Anglea Lansbury got no small ratings with Murder She Wrote, so why not?

I’ll tell you why not…
Because as sexy as Helen Mirren and her bath tub nipples are it’s supposedly still bad juju for a woman to get old. I guess ratings and rabid fans have no say.
And while men mature and grey with smoldering temples, we presumably wilt like little pansies in the rear window of a black hearse on the way to the no one wants to fuck you anymore graveyard.

While on the surface this issue may revolve around beauty, it’s really about power.
Girls are never the boss,  and girls are much easier to ignore when asking for the remote control, or equal pay among other things.
I don’t want you to pat me on the head while you pat me on the ass, as Susan Sarandon admonishes in Bull Durham “Baby ducks are cute, I HATE cute…!”

So in the name of ass kicking and fully gown women let us consider Bonnie Raitt, Lucinda Williams, Lauren Bacall, Isabella Rossellini, Audrey Hepburn, Katharine Hepburn, Julianne Moore, Julie Andrews and Mary Louise Parker, to name a few. …. If you’re smart you wouldn’t call any one of them, or me, a girl.